untangling

untangling the mass of cords from the computer that i somehow fit (with its cords still connected) into a clothes basket and slowly took down three flights of stairs, walked two buildings over, and then up two more flights of stairs before pushing it across the room to my desk, i realized that i'm not just untangling cords right now. i've been trying to untangle a friend who rejected me for loving someone and talking about it openly. i've been trying to untangle someone else's predicament, and now i'm trying to untangle my own life and self. that's really all i can do. i have loved everyone i wanted to as best i could. i loved them instead of other people. i loved them through my own tangles. now, i want to focus on the entanglements i can do something about. mainly on myself.