accessed privilege

when we're walking back from the beach,
i hope you feel like you got something out of it
i used to think the beach was all that
but now i know
that if i went with you
you should have gotten something out of it.

i can go back to the beach by myself.
but if i went with you
i sure as hell got something out of it

if you didn't,
you better go back to the beach
you better get in those waves
you better taste some salt

if you didn't taste
that you accessed privilege
when you accessed me
then you never went to the beach at all
you should have stayed home

because whatever it is was
that was boring you there
is still you
so just stay home next time
because if you think that i'm the waves
and you can ride the waves
and walk back from the beach in silence
then just bury yourself in the sand
because access to the privilege of me
is sand in your eyes.

talk when you can speak
until then
just keep turning over that sand
over and over again
granule by granule
in every wet part
in every gap
of your entire body

because until you get what you accessed
when you accessed me
you might as well plant an umbrella
in front of the cable television
with a lawnchair in your living room
because you don't get at all
what it means
to be alive
and true.

don't mute that commercial.
you're the commercial.

The Truth is

The truth is
since I met you
I haven't had
a moment's peace

My mind reflects upon
loving you
upon your interests
what you say
what you do
where you are

Sometimes I can't wait
to hear
what's next
I want next to be
with you

I've had to find new depths
of reason
to want to do anything
but have you
in my mind
in my heart
in my bed

the truth is
the most peace
I would find
is to be without you
if I can't be with you

The truth is
you will never leave
my heart

and the Truth is
I've gotta find peace
again
because you've shaken me
so full of love and desire
I can hardly find my toes

highly sensitive...

amy mentioned that jung had a term called "highly sensitive person"... i found an interesting website on the topic. while i only scored 11, and you need 14 to be highly sensitive, i find it all highly interesting. here's an article on grief and coping:
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/1Aug09.htm

Who Dunnit?

It's not about Who Dunnit?
Who is the person responsible
for bombing those buildings
let's get the guy
who left those suitcases outside
and bombed the cops?

The question is not
whose DNA it is
but why is it happening?

Injustice
is not a social issue
It's a spiritual one
And we can keep building
the bars in the buildings
and in our minds
spending more and more money
on insulating ourselves
from the one thing we need:
understanding
of why

Due process
cannot be achieved
when money is the only means

It's all Love

In the moment,
It may not always seem "all good,"
but the Positives would like us to think so
In the moment, though,
It Is
ALL LOVE

The Hate
Is Love
for the Self
The Inability in that Moment
To be in Relationship
Until We Can Understand

The space to understand
Is Love
The space of the Self
Is Love
It is deserved
Each Self
is deserved
and is love.

Delphiniums in a Window Box

Delphiniums in a Window Box
by Dean Young, from the New Yorker... Thanks for the reference, Zulaika...


Every sunrise, even strangers’ eyes.

Not necessarily swans, even crows,

even the evening fusillade of bats.

That place where the creek goes underground,

how many weeks before I see you again?

Stacks of books, every page, characters’

rages and poets’ strange contraptions

of syntax and song, every song

even when there isn’t one.

Every thistle, splinter, butterfly

over the drainage ditches. Every stray.

Did you see the meteor shower?

Did it feel like something swallowed?

Every question, conversation

even with almost nothing, cricket, cloud,

because of you I’m talking to crickets, clouds,

confiding in a cat. Everyone says,

Come to your senses, and I do, of you.

Every touch electric, every taste you,

every smell, even burning sugar, every

cry and laugh. Toothpicked samples

at the farmers’ market, every melon,

plum, I come undone, undone.

growth

it's only been 1 month and 5 days since my last post? this seems impossible. i think i am re-emerging into an online creative persona on some level because of my online fiction class i'm taking, but i don't know what kind of gems i'll have to offer here, but i'd like to try...

for today, i'll say:
growth is quite a stretch. we can't expect to grow if we don't wanna stretch... :)