some Rumi and Osho

"Today, like every other day,
we wake up empty and frightened.
Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading.
Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways
to kneel and kiss the ground."

Rumi ♥



"Go with the unknown, go with the new. Always remember: If there is a choice between the old and the new, choose the new. Howsoever dangerous it is, howsoever insecure it is, choose the new. And you will be always moving closer and closer to God." ~ Osho


"I teach you not only the romance of the body, which is very ordinary;
I teach you the romance of the spirit which is eternal, which begins but never ends.
But this is possible only if you start going inwards.
Going inwards is going Godwards.
Going inwards is the whole secret of all alchemical transformation of being.
Running away is simply wasting tremendously valuable time,
and a life that could have been a great song, a great creativity, a tremendous festival of lights." ~ Osho

"Between life and death is love. Life exists only to give an opportunity to love and be loved." ~ Osho

"If God said,
'Rumi, pay homage to everything
that has helped you
enter my arms,'
...there would not be one experience of my life,
not one thought,
not one feeling,
not any act,
I would not
bow to."

"Tantra is the science of turning ordinary lovers into soulmates. And that is the grandeur of Tantra. It can transform the whole earth; it can transform each couple into soulmates. It is one of the greatest treasures lying there unused. The day humanity uses it a new glow will surround the earth; the earth will become aglow with a new love." ~ Osho

Hear this if you can:
If you want to reach him
You have to go beyond yourself
And when you finally arrive at the land of absence
Be silent
Don’t say a thing
Ecstasy, not words, is the language spoken there. ~ Rumi ♥

my new boyfriend john

God is awake at this hour

In my moment of grief
Krishana
in India
instant-messaged
Namaste
He knew I needed it

He told me so many things
I used to know
Said he was Western in a former life
I could feel his soul as we IM'd,
could even smell him

Then he told me his heart belongs
to Germany
where his soul wife is

Germany was a surprise

He told me to write my own Gita
own Koran
own Bible

He has given his life
to his soul-wife

"now my happiness and sorrow full ness belongs to her"

"i told her everything about me
and so I love her truthfully"

he told her, "if i love you,
i love you by your soul
not by body."

BUT

she told him she doesn't have feelings for him
so he goes back to God
sends me his words at the right time

and says there is a reason for everything

remembering these lyrics today - in the best of spirits despite appearances

Iron & Wine: Flightless Bird, American Mouth Lyrics


I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue


Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

golden bridge

there is a golden bridge
that will take you
to the spot
where you want to be

sometimes you walk over the paving stones
and they feel bumpy on your feet
there may be some unexpected tears,
precipitation

and you may look around
thinking where are all the people?
some of them you know, and can acknowledge
exchange the best conversations
and others are in their quiet

the goldenness is in the remembering of the oneness
that even in your pain
and in theirs
you are the same

and all the happy boys
want to be the happy boys
all the time
and they should
but just remember
that even the trees
are singing a tune
that's sometimes sad

we may all end up at the ocean
and watch its waves
and the tides coming in and out
but we feel the tides differently

and if we could watch the tides
and walk backwards
together
make sure everyone's got their feet
in the soft sand

there would be no reason to fear
for we can see what's coming
even when we don't know
what comes next

we can feel the sun
and the rain
just the same

so if i happen to feel it with you
even if it hurts
i want to thank you for that moment

and the sun, and the rain,
and the ocean, too

from omaha to phoenix

I've Lost So Many Mothers

It started out at K-Mart,
maybe it was a moment

I was in the cart,
and she was off...

Maybe to pick up
some Polaroids...

then we took one
of me in the cart,

next in a line
waiting for fingerprints
to make sure I wouldn't be kidnapped

I remember a brush against
Stephanie's stubbled calf,
and then she was gone.

A blue fragrance
named Heaven
to remind me of her
I wondered if she named
me Heather to prepare me.

Next was her mother,
Annie, a death I could not
accept until I called
every bingo parlor
to confirm

She was not there,
7th grade.
I broke out
in shingles,
my nerves'
first indication
they would respond
big now
when I lost love.
Wake up, Heather.
Dad slathered on the calamine.

Next was Carolee, the biggest,
the mother of all the adopted ones,
the funeral where I couldn't speak.
She wasn't just my housekeeper,
babysitter, mom's best friend, story-teller,
she was the biggest courage I've known.

Next there was Nancy's mom,
a bigger hole in our hearts to love
each other

And now Marilyn,
the Mother I could not call mom
as much as half, or part of me,
would have wanted
It was always your mom
your joy
but the woman whose spirit
I admire
whose face now I see brightest
as I make more room for love.

John's mom, Mary,
a spirit I felt I could
touch in the lost lady-like friend
the gentle, sweet woman
who kept order, who knew
how to be part of a group
to raise a family I loved.

And Ginny
the brave, sprightly spirit
who took on Cindy
and a world of cancer
that she spun right out of
before she looks down again
with love


My response:
to see each mother now,
with more love

Kathy Kelly,
who showed James
how to skin a rabbit
when he was doing it wrong.

Becky Berg,
who tried to love me,
by giving me a Bible.

Thank you to every mother

to lost chances
and found ones

You've made a world
of good.

And even when they're gone,
they're still there,
and that part of you that connects...
it holds them
and you connect on..



MARILYN
Marilyn was a
woman's woman
the woman who
knew the crafts
the gentleness
who knew how
to show the coat closet
in the right way

I knew when Ann read
Ted Kooser's poem
"Mother"
that the wonder-view
of the world
I hungrily stole
from Ann
descended from
Marilyn

I knew when I saw
the pictures of her youth
that some of the class
I've felt
in my spirit
was mirrored
in Marilyn.

Her piano-playing, its own
movie, a woman who can
take on the world
in notes of music,
notes of care,
notes of as ever.

I quietly regarded her,
wondering about my mother's rival
who was no rival

if competition
surrendering your worth
to someone's else standards
were worth mentioning

If each woman
is the same
she is the same
in that she lives
her own life
as best she can
open her heart
down the doors she knows
the doors she finds
and in each year she
is blessed with
in each smile
and ounce of spirit
she earns my regard
but maybe none today
as much as her.



WHAT I REMEMBER
I remember moments with Marilyn
I remember when I discovered
I could chart a year of joy
by listing every family members'
birthday
and Marilyn met me
at her kitchen table
with a knowing spark
ready to tell me
every one.

I remember the first time I saw
a true girl's bedroom
in Ann's
that Marilyn created
marveling I woke in that room
the day of her funeral
with the care she took
the lace of the curtains
now the lace of the beauty
of Marilyn's life

I remember the last time I saw
Marilyn
both of us slightly startled
and amazed by the grace and vigor
of Maya's pet bird


HE CARRIED FORTH
Sex appeal
is built
from a family
yet unfulfilled