hi

well, i did get 6 hours of sleep. that makes 8 hours in two days, which is not all that good. sometimes building the life you need to be happy takes energy.

just went on a walk and had a very wonderful conversation with amy. also really deeply enjoyed talking to zulaika last night, chatting with cindy briefly, and texting with dear jen. thank you all for your support. Dad, too. thanks for never judging me but really listening to me. i love you all so much.

i'm learning a lot right now. trying to. i have a much better understanding of my parents than i ever did before. life seems to do that for me.

it's interesting what makes cities attractive: madison and portland have their charms. colorado. i've heard nothing but the best things about portland. i also love san francisco and the people i love there so much. it seems like a hard place to marry, though. particularly from the job and affordable housing standpoints. not all of us are meant to marry, and certainly not all marriages are to last forever. but we commit and love as best we can. we find connection where we can. we honor what life gives us while honoring what life has given us.

happy 4th. it will be nice to have fireworks outside, too.

also, clint thinks i should take ambien to set my internal clock back, to give the serotonin or something. i really don't feel lacking in serotonin at all. but he thought that because i needed him to tell me where his keys were so i could move his car blocking my car in the still dark, early morning hours. usually that doesn't happen. he was not happy about that and eventually moved his car. that took some debate... but i was not upset. sometimes a person needs to drive, even if only for a few songs. there are all kinds of beacons out there. sometimes they're blue.