nothing firm but looking good

so i didn't hear from the district office today that they're making me an offer, so in a way i've just got to get over it for 12 days until we're back in school. that kind of makes planning hard, but whatever, i'm on vacation, i'm going to enjoy it. also, it seems unofficially like maybe i'm going to be hired. marissa, the chair of the department and one of the three who interviewed me yesterday gave me a card today in which she said to let her know how she can help in the 2008 school year. and then she printed off a schedule for next year with my name on it. so maybe these were nice clues in lieu of anything official. most people would probably say they are, the more i get over my paranoia and relax into vacation, the more i'm able to slip into yeah, probably things will be okay, and if not, at least i'm relaxed now.

clint and i watched an interesting discovery show tonight on babies and their first year. as they learn new tasks, they're unable to do others as well for awhile . . . the whole thing was really cool and interesting and comforting to have some of the complexity and fragility of babies unpacked . . . i also want to relate babies and their tasks to me and my almost 30-something friends. i think we've taken on more tasks than many women previously our age did. our tasks are different in that we all think (or face a reality that dictates, encourages) that we need to first get a BA and dedicate a lot of energy to that and figuring out a major. my friends and i also wanted to travel abroad and maybe learn a foreign language. we are independent and want to be fine without being in a relationship. we made our friends every important to us. our families are also important, but we've wanted the independence to live away from them. and then eventually (and on some level all along), we're also interested in finding a mate, but he has to be evolved in many of the same ways as us . . . at the very least he has to be intelligent, gentle, good-looking and able to support us in all of the goals we set for ourselves, and then he has to kind of have his own thing going, too . . . so finding all this takes awhile, and then getting the career going, some decent housing, etc., and probably a degree beyond the BA before having a baby. this leaves us in various states of unfinished family foundation by the time we're 30. some people (or maybe just teenagers) think we're kind of old by the time we're 30, like why don't we have kids yet, or that we oughta get a move on . . . but my whole point of narrating the lives of my sub-group is that i'm generally finding that (thankfully) none of us have all of the pieces quite yet, and we're content with different paths, but if we are seeking some sort of family thing, it's at least comforting to all of us to see that no one quite has everything together yet, but we've got so much else together, and there's just compensation in that.